So in the past 2 weeks I've had some experiences with my friends that made me realize that there really are people in the world who know me pretty well.
Scenario 1: Me & Katie on the phone
Katie: Ugh, I sort of hate today.
Meg: Why?
Katie: I don't know, I'm just bored, I feel like I've not done anything today.
Meg: Well, if it makes you feel better...
Katie: What?
Meg: Ok, right now I am leaning over my couch because I dropped my blanket behind it...you know like THE blanket not a blanket.
Katie: Right, not the blanket that keeps you warm, but rather, the blanket that keeps you safe.
Meg: Wow, you get me.
Katie: I know.
Meg: Anyway, so I can't reach it, so just know that right now your 24 year old best friend is somewhere in Utah leaned over her couch, using kitchen tongs to rescue her security blanket.
Katie: (laughing)
Meg: You feel more accomplished now don't you?
Katie: Sort of.
Scenario 2: Robyn and I watching Ugly Betty
(Wilhemina enters wearing an awesome dress and says something hateful)
Meg: Wow, I love her dress!
Robyn: You just like it because it's all black and has an elegant but tasteful neckline.
Meg: (startled) Um, yah, actually, that's exactly why I like it.
Robyn: I know, I really do get you sometimes.
Scenario 3: Robyn & I at the library
(handing books to the librarian)
Librarian: (to me) Um, you actually have a fine, would you like to pay it now?
Meg: What is the fine for?
Librarian: Um, lets see, it looks like you had 2 books that were turned in late.
Meg: What were the books?
Librarian: ( looks at computer) It looks like they were "Life Behind the Veil: The Stories of Saudi Arabian Imprisoned women activists" and "Through the Tapestries: An examination of Latin through Roman Woven Art.
Meg: Oh yeah.
Robyn: (starts to crack up)
Meg: What?
Robyn: Nothing, it's just that, you could have given me a list of 100 books, and I'm pretty sure based on these titles I could've picked out the 2 that you checked out.
Meg: Whatever
So cheers to my girls, who really get me...and love me anyway.
Meg's Playlist
She is, like most of my friends, a terrible judge of character.
The past six days have been the best six days of probably my whole life. Immediately after making this statement, Royal realized it was true.
"Um. I don't think they're that secular but, obviously, Dumbledore is not Jesus."
I don't know how much the anti-war posters are costing me, but they're certainly cheaper than someone's life.
I don't want to cram in sex or guns or car chases or characters learning profound life lessons or growing or coming to like each other or overcome obstacles to succeed in the end. The book isn't like that, and life isn't like that, it just isn't.
"Maybe I'm crazy, but when you're old you don't really need perfume anymore. So when you and 3 of your old friends from the class of '42 come into Firehouse, it isn't a necessity for youto spritz the hell out of yourself with Chanel No.5. Why not you may ask? Unless you're trying to seduce the 17 year old cook you could spot in the kitchen, no one is going to pay that much attention to your physical appearance ad or smell. Besides, the kid would definitely not be into it anyway. Second, as has been established on several occasions, No. 5 is DISGUSTING. Just because it's made by one of the most respected and successful businesses in the fashion industry doesn't me you should wear it. And trust me, just because Nicole Kidman did a 45 minute commercial on it doesn't mean she wears it too. So in the future, please be considerate of those diners around you and don't attach that tall bottle to your lawn sprinkler system and go galavanting through it's sickeningly overpriced droplets like a child on a hot day."
"I'm going to go get his phone!"
I'm not a republican, but I sure as f*** dont go around hugging trees on the weekend worrying whether or not homeless junkies have a place to sleep while I sip on a latte at Starbucks complaining about President Bush.
I was on a train and I heard a guy say to his friend, "Man, I'm really good at checkers." Which is the same as saying, "Man, I"m not good at a lot of things."
Check out the nested parentheticals yo!
About Me
- Meg V
- I heart Hogwarts, Keith Olbermann, bernese mountain dogs, Moneypenny, Wes Anderson, my hilarious sister Layla, Hugh Grant when he says, "mmmm, would we call her chubby?" pink nalgene bottles, David Sedaris, security blankets, Jon Stewart, writing about irritating people but turning them into animals instead of humans and dubbing it "fiction," Zach and his half circle run, judging with K-lo, visiting Hawaii, imagining my mother's face whenever I see a child bride, Joaquin Phoenix, scrabble, rapping with Ludacris when alone in the Focus, translating latin in movies before Nicolas Cage does, not oohing and aahing at every chick movie, Theodore Taddley Vest, dark nail polish, Kevyn Aucoin, editing woodchucks, Maile & V-dawg, Andy Samberg's "Iran So Far," Stewart Gilligan Griffin, and Barack Obama.
1 comments:
See, you too are all over the library fine adorableness. For communist, feminist, historical literature.
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